lerbook #212 - Uh oh oh, I'm the devil
#212 - Uh oh oh, I'm the devil
Drolte, no, Hoss had never imagined such a day would come, or rather, he never thought it would come in this form.
Now, he sat at the head table of a manor villa's hall, surrounded by laughter and cheerful conversation, attended by nobles of baronial and comital ranks.
Candlelight flickered on the stone walls of the long hall, casting shadows that made everyone's face appear ambiguous and mysterious.
"Mr. Hoss, please don't be restrained. All this food is for you, even though you are a devil."
A portly noble toasted Hoss. Even Hoss, who might be chosen as the Devil Emperor the next day, had to stand up numbly and return the toast.
Sitting back at the table, Hoss stared blankly at the long table before him, while nobles came and went behind him.
Unlike Hoss, who was chained to the table, they were free to mingle, only returning to their seats when the main courses were served.
The aroma of roast lamb mixed with honey filled the air, and the sweet taste of wine still lingered on his palate.
Servants moved around the table, carrying wine and silver platters piled high with various delicacies—tender roasted quail, perfectly stewed venison, and pheasant stuffed with spices and raisins.
"After the flood, the Pope issued an edict, asking us to simplify everything and save food to help the disaster victims. We can only hold a small event to respond to the Pope's edict."
Count Skrymsber, the owner of the castle, stood beside the main seat in the hall, raising his gilded silver cup as he delivered a toast.
"Originally, I couldn't bear to see so many believers starving," Bishop Constance said with a compassionate expression. "Fortunately, today's dishes are not excessive. I will only eat a few bites to show my respect for the Count."
"His Eminence the Archbishop is indeed compassionate towards the believers," Count Skrymsber clapped his hands and called a maid. "His Eminence Constance has a weak stomach. Bring him the devil's blue lark tongue soup."
Nobles of various ranks sat at the table, dressed in brocade and sable fur, with bejeweled rings and gilded ornaments on their hands. The firewood burning in the hearth sent warmth to everyone's feet.
Ruby rings glittered in the candlelight, hurting Hoss's eyes a little.
As a bankrupt knight, Hoss had never seen such a sight before.
Even when he was a knight commander, he wasn't allowed to sit at the table, not to mention that Duke Danner was a disliked figure in noble society, and few people held such banquets for him.
He never thought that such a banquet would be held for him, and more than once!
Drolte, disguised as "Hoss," still couldn't understand the meaning of Bishop Constance's actions.
You know, he was a great enemy of the Church, the "number two figure" of the short-haired rebels who were causing a stir everywhere.
For some reason, on the way out of Thousand River Valley, the bishop took him to various banquets, introducing him to others as if showing off a trophy.
Hoss understood for the first time how the lions in the circus cages felt, although he wasn't much of a lion, just a dog painted with lion patterns.
"Bishop Constance, when will the devil descend? We are all very scared."
With a flushed face from the wine, Count Skrymsber rested his large belly on his knees, looking at Constance impatiently.
Hoss turned to look at Constance, who smiled as he drank his meat soup. But seeing those narrowed eyes, the knight, who had experienced many battles, still shrank his neck.
Humiliated, Hoss closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose.
"Ooooooh, I am Hoss Galar, uncle of the Devil Pope Horn, uncle of the devil from the Fire Hell..."
Under the tutelage of several hooded strong men, Hoss had long learned how to perform demonic possession.
Of course, the technique couldn't compare to that of the real Holy Grandson Horn.
Unlike Horn's Holy Father descending, in the Empire, all mental illnesses were often regarded as demonic possession, and even sleep talking was considered evidence of demons invading dreams.
Shaking nervously all over, like Hoss, was considered a relatively mild form of possession.
"Ah!"
After Hoss stood up and started his shamanistic dance, the noble ladies beside him immediately covered their noses with the heels of their hands, startled and slowly collapsing to the ground, while the male nobles nearby quickly reached out to help.
But everyone knew that the fainting of noble ladies was a proper etiquette. A noble lady had to faint when she saw a devil.
Even if their eyes were wider than the devil's when they fainted, they still had to faint first.
"My nephew Horn is the grandson of the Lord of the Fire Hell, the devil Babur, disguised as Messiah. When you see him, you will surely die..."
"And your Lord, the one named Messiah, is just a courtesy name, a plaything under my Lord's crotch..."
"Bold!"
"Damn devil!"
"Oh, my dear Miss Lapus, don't be afraid, he's chained up."
Rolling his eyes, Hoss could still tell how the people around him were looking at him, with a curious and rebellious gaze.
When he loudly uttered blasphemous words, the nobles' scolding voices were more excited than angry.
This kind of pleasure of breaking through shackles and taboos was probably the reason why the nobles loved to watch him "possess."
Holding a glass of pale blue wine, Constance drank it without hesitation, watching Hoss's performance with a smile.
In fact, he didn't expect Hoss to be so useful at first. He asked him to perform "demonic possession" just to boost his achievements and smear the short-haired rebels.
This way, the achievement of capturing Hoss would be big enough. After all, if you say he's Horn's uncle, there has to be something to show for it, otherwise who would believe it?
As for smearing, it was Constance's work for Pope Johnny VIII.
Wasn't His Majesty Johnny VIII paranoid? Did he really take the Holy Grandson's descent seriously and arrest short-haired rebels everywhere?
As Pope Johnny VIII's close little cleric, Constance decided that instead of disproving that Horn was the "Holy Grandson's descent," it would be better to prove that Horn was "demonic possession."
This kind of slanderous tactic was all too familiar to the itinerant priests who controlled the rural mouthpiece.
But what Constance didn't expect was that the nobles actually welcomed this form, possibly because Hoss insulted Messiah so much, or possibly because Hoss was a rare "devil in the flesh."
Above all, criticizing the devil together was a very good excuse for fame and banquets.
After the flood in Thousand River Valley came the famine, and the nobles' banquets gradually decreased. They weren't really saving for the disaster victims, but were just afraid that rival families might use morality as a weapon to attack them.
But if they didn't hold banquets, could they still be considered nobles?
Since Hoss appeared, this problem was easily solved. They weren't holding banquets for fun, but to criticize the devil and denounce Messiah!
"Damn devil, how dare you seduce men? How did you do it?" A noble lady saw that after everyone around her had scolded, no one had scolded the point, so she had to take the field herself.
"Ooooooh, lowly Messiah believers, I have never..."
"Cough cough cough..." Seemingly choked while eating meat soup, Archbishop Constance coughed a few times and wiped the corner of his mouth with a handkerchief.
Hoss recognized this look. He knew that if he didn't have an affair with Duke Cush at this banquet, he would have an affair with four real strong men when he got back.
"What? Are you going to be silent? You have the ability to seduce men, why don't you have the ability to admit it?"
"..." Gritting his teeth in humiliation, Hoss said loudly, "That day, I saw the Duke bathing in the room, so I went up..."
Hoss's voice became more and more hoarse, constantly telling the fictional "love" story between him and Danner. At first, he stuttered, but later he became more and more fluent, even able to simulate actions to demonstrate.
But in the trance of the speech, Hoss sometimes saw black goat horns growing on the heads of the surrounding nobles, and lava flowing on the stone walls of the hall.